I don’t like to tell any foreigners whether or not they should marry a Thai woman. But I feel that with my experience in Thailand (and south east Asia), I could help shed some light on this topic and hopefully help a few guys out in the process.
In this article I wanted to give you a few tips on the red flags to look for before getting married to a Thai woman, especially as a foreigner.
These will be the clear warning signs to look for. If you see any of the following things then seriously reconsider it. Reconsider marrying a Thai woman if she…
Worked As A Bar Girl or Freelancer
I don’t recommend for any guys to to marry a bar girl, freelancer, or any Thai woman who was involved in that industry.
For most women, the psychological damage is too much, and can be permanent. You may think that she is “changed” and a “good girl” now, but let me tell you, it ain’t happening.
Once a girl works in that industry, they can never be yours. They can never even be themselves again. They may pretend to be, or try to hide it, but deep down they have lost a part of themselves.
It’s not even fully their fault. The industry hardens you.
When she is intimate with that many men, without any emotional involvement, it can damage her ability to really love another man.
Only Wants To Get Married For Financial Reasons
This goes without saying. But you would be surprised that many guys still fall for it.
Some Thai women can make it seem like they really love you, but in fact, they really want to marry you for the financial support you can provide to her, and her family in Thailand.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying a man should not be financially responsible in a relationship. But only if his wife really loves him genuinely.
So how can you be sure if a Thai woman loves you for real?
Here are some big clues. When she shows you these things:
- Is willing to compromise on how much you spend on her
- Does not put pressure on you to spend money on expensive things
- Does not compare you to other guys
- Gives you intimacy, even when you don’t give her money or buy her gifts.
And here is a big clue:
She has a job and makes her own money, and still wants to build a life with you.
Has Been Married to A Foreigner Before
If she was married to a foreigner before you, then watch out. There was probably a reason why the marriage failed with the guy before you.
In most cases it is because her true colors came out, and the foreigner realized that he was getting scammed — she was not a genuinely good person.
In my experience, most foreign guys who want to marry a Thai woman are willing to give the marriage a serious effort. They do all they can to make it work, especially since most of them are specifically looking to marry a nice traditional Thai lady.
More Than 20 Years Younger Than You
I know that having a nice young Thai wife sounds nice to many of us, especially for the men that are over the age of 50. But let me give you a heads up, you don’t want to marry a woman who is more than 20 years younger than you.
Generally speaking, and from my observations, Thai women can have some resentment for you if your way older than her.
But more importantly, it can be difficult for your wife to relate to you if there is such a big age gap between the two of you. The communication will lack. Rather than seeing you as her partner, she might look at you as if being her fatherly figure.
And finally, most people will judge your marriage. You might be saying, “who cares, I don’t care if people judge me”. But is that really true?
Imagine if most people that see your Thai wife can never take her seriously. Eventually over time this causes some problems for many couples. I have seen it many times. This is why I recommend to get married to a woman who is within 10-15 years younger than you.
Has Kids With Two Different Men
You don’t want to be THAT third guy. And you surely would not want to have some responsibilities for the kids that she had with two different Thai men!
What is even worse is that you will never know what her intention was for wanting to get married with you.
Doesn’t Want to Stay in Thailand
From my observations, most of the marriages that were successful between a Thai woman and a foreigner was when couple decided to stay in Thailand.
Many marriages end up failing once the bride wants to leave Thailand and build a family outside the country.
There could be many reasons for this. But in my opinion, the biggest factor is that she starts to change once she leaves Thailand. She starts adopting different character traits, and her personality changes to suit the culture of her new foreign home. Something very different from her Thai culture and upbringing back home.
This is not bad initially. But here is the thing, her husband that fell in love with her is expecting her to be the same women who he fell in love with. And once she changes, the marriage tends to fail.